– Eco Health Sense’s Interview with Dr John Demartini –
The understanding of the nature and causes of depression has evolved over the centuries. Though this understanding is incomplete it has left many aspects of depression as the subject of discussion and research. Psychological treatments are based on theories of personality, interpersonal communication, and learning. Most biological theories focus on the monoamine chemicals serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine, which are naturally present in the brain and assist communication between nerve cells.
Read and share our interview with Dr Demartini a human behaviour specialist.
Q Depression may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods. Do you believe that we can permanently rise above such feelings? Are these not part of the natural rhythm of emotion and life?
A It is realistic to experience the volatilities or fluctuations or mood swings of life. I think that just like a magnet that has two poles, if I was to expect someone to give me one side of a magnet it would be unrealistic. I think it is unrealistic to expect to have a one pole in life happy without sad, up without down, sweeter without bitter, nice without meaner or any pole. It is wise to embrace life in its fullness and understand that these ups and downs are part of life and they both serve. Some times when you are up you are ignorant of the downsides, and blind-sighted because of the one side exaggeration of the upside.
Q Is it a bad thing to feel this upside exaggeration?
I would not label it a bad thing, I would use the analogy when you infatuated with someone, and in a relationship that’s new that infatuation often leads you blind to the downside to the person, and then when you resentful to the person you blind to the upsides. But when you understand both sides you have an expectation for them to provide you with both sides. This way you learn to appreciate them and love them as the truth is the person has both sides. So life is the same way, you cannot embrace one side life pole to life, when it has two sides you are going to set yourself up for an unrealistic expectation and that is going leave you with the other side.
Depression is a comparison to your current reality which is balanced to a fantasy that’s a one sided world. Depression is a compensation actual feedback to your conscious mind to let you know you have expectations that are unrealistic. If you set realistic expectations and raise the two sides of life and, you see how both sides of life serve you. You can calm down the volatilities and appreciate the two sides and see how life serves you. A balanced mind feeds a balanced physiology.
Q Chronic depression is a disabling condition that adversely affects a person’s family, work or school life, sleeping and eating habits, and general health. What is the Demartini approach in relation to this fact?
A What is important is to identify what specifically you are depressed about, in other words what do you think your life should be? Or what do you think you should have or experience that would make your life somehow better? For example you may wish you had more money, a loving relationship, a better body or lifestyle.
No matter what it is imagine for a moment that your life is actually the way you think it should be. Ask yourself, what would the drawbacks be? Look for as many drawbacks to this fantasy as possible, that you are comparing your life to.
Then ask yourself what the benefits are to living the way you right now, as it is. Again and again you need to run through the list of drawbacks, activating the click feeling, and your heart centre opens with gratitude as you realize your life is perfect the way it is.
When you bring down the fantasy with the drawbacks and you bring up your reality with the benefits you bring your mind into balance and you dissolve your feelings of depression and replace them with a deep appreciation and gratitude for life as it is.
Q Would you say that growing up with an unemotional parent could create a life-long depression?
A I’d say it is better to go for appreciation and love for your life. Fulfilment is embracing both sides of life. Happiness is a one sided part of life. It is a dopamine fantasy when you are blinded by the downside of life. Search the internet and you’ll find over 750 famous celebratories did not have parents and it does not mean anything. If you want be a victim of your history you can always find something to show-off. It is how you perceive it, what you decide to do with it that counts. People who are high performing or functioning people say: How does it make me become a better person? How does it make me become an amazing person? How can I make an extraordinary difference on planet earth? Depression is a classical by product as it sets up a fantasy world. What is reality has got to have a blessing, get on with it use for your benefit.
Q There is no quick fixes here – Can the Demartini method offer a comprehensive program? What time frame and costs would be involved for such rehabilitation?
A The “Breakthrough Experience” has helped thousands of people around the world reawaken an enthusiasm for living and develop a strong sense of direction and overcome their most burdensome challenges. In two full days (24 hours) we address how to manage emotions and resolve feelings of shame, guilt, anger, resentment, fear, anxiety, intimidation, grief and loss that may be holding you back from being inspired by your life.
Q Postpartum depression occurs in women soon after giving birth. Symptoms include sadness and hopelessness over and above the normal baby blues. Counselling and antidepressants are conventional treatment options. Please share your thoughts about this as 1 in 8 women suffer from this?
A Fantasy is a one sided affair. Whenever you have a fantasy about how you think your life should be, instead of being grateful for how it is, you split yourself in two. The fantasy appears to be more positive than negative and as a result you compare your reality to it. You then become trapped and depressed whenever you perceive that your life doesn’t match the unrealistic ideal in your mind. Mothers-to-be may be delusional about how happy they are going to be about creating a new family and about having the baby. A lot of fantasies can be created around pregnancy, as there are unrealistic expectations often in relation to the role the spouses are expected to play. This can cause anxiety, being mad, angered and depressed. It is learning how to take what happens and being resilient, adaptable and purposeful about dealing with challenges, and realistically to see the benefits that serve the highest good.
Q On a symptom level would you say that Depression is a form of supressed aggression (life energy), when directed against oneself, comes to light as suicidal tendencies? Is their resolution here?
A Suicidal tendencies – I talk about this in the Breakthrough Experience, any time you are infatuated with yourself, proud, manic, elated, cocky you have the fear of death, as you want life to go on, you don’t want too loose that. Anytime you really super depressed and minimising yourself in shame and guilt you have the fear of life, a death wish sometimes, so whenever they way down below equilibrium they have death thoughts. So anytime they way up in manic phase they have fear of death thoughts. Fear of death is a withdrawal from a manic situation. The fantasy appears to be larger than life and more positive than negative as a result you compare your reality to it. You become sad and depressed whenever you perceive that your life doesn’t match the unrealistic ideal in your mind.
Reconciliation with the rhythm of life on one hand with decay, dying and sorrow, and on the other, with rebirth and joy of life, finding the light in the darkness, following one’s calling, finding one’s own individual sense and meaning in life. Following the path of individuation and moving into resonance with love and balance.